Rakhi From Another City: Setting Up Care for Parents You Can't Visit

Rakhi arrives by post, but the worry travels a lot faster. You worry about your parents unwrapping the gifts and returning to an empty home, where the everyday needs remain unmet. Distance has its effect on your relationship with your parents. Now routine checks become more difficult.

Distance makes it more difficult to notice a slippery bathroom mat and check if the medicine that is to be taken daily, was in fact taken.

Care starts long before the preparations for a visiting festival. It starts with one trusted person surrounding your parents when you are away. Care starts with simple systems that your parents accept and understand.

This year on the occasion of Rakhi, start building a support system to take care of your parents when you live in another city distant from them.

Start With Understanding Their Daily Needs

Take the time to understand their needs with a calm conversation. Understand their routine, their health needs including the appointments, their daily medicine needs, their meals, and their mobility. Limit your questions to understand their needs for the day. Listen for changes in their routine. Small changes can be an indicator of their daily needs.

Make a note of:

• Their support system, who lives with them, who visits them during the week
• Daily medicines, and their appointments
• Their support needs, if they need assistance with bathing, dressing, cooking, and shopping
• Their mobility concerns with walking, using the stairs, and going to the bathroom
• Their daily concerns
• The support system they have in an emergency

The support can also include your neighbors and the building staff from where your parents live. Understand their needs by engaging in many short conversations.

Create a Local Support Circle

Designate one coordinator. This person can be a sibling, a relative, a trusted neighbor or friend, a professional caregiver, etc. Give them a list of duties. Some tasks the support circle can provide:

• Weekly home visits
• Updates on medication and appointment reminders
• Grocery and meal support
• A support person for banking or payment support
• Transport to medical appointments
• A feel-safe call in the morning or evening
• A support person for medical emergencies
• A support person when the other person takes a break

Fixed days and times should be agreed upon. A commitment to "check in" often becomes a promise that is hard to keep during a busy schedule. Having a scheduled call or visit sets a routine for all participants.

Important information can be shared if there is consent. All records, prescriptions, emergency contacts, ID card details, and insurance documents should be secured in one file. Access should be restricted to trusted people only.

A Professional Home Care Service

Parents need assistance to manage daily living tasks. A home attendant helps bathe, dress, prepare meals, and provide assistance with mobility. The nature of support should be based on the parent's needs.

Before you hire a home attendant, verify ID and references and confirm their background check and police verification. Request a trial period. Create a care guide that outlines preferred meal times, medicine schedules, mobility aids, doctor names, emergency procedures, and medical contacts.

A caregiver should never adjust a medication schedule, provide medical guidance, or do any clinical intervention without the family approving and directing the care provision.

Slowly introduce caregiving support to your parent to ease them into the idea of a caregiver. Start with simply offering to help them with grocery shopping or house cleaning. When they are more comfortable with the arrangement, help them with their personal care. They may be more accepting of a caregiver when they begin to realize the importance of respect and choice in the arrangement.

Make the Home Safer

Falls happen during routine activities like getting in and out of bed, going to the bathroom, and crossing a wet floor. Assess each room in your parents' home. Evaluate for:

• Rugs
• Wires
• Lighting
• Water
• Seating
• Walking path
• Bed
• Safety supports in relation to the toilet and shower

If you assess your parent's needs and choose appropriately, some AGEasy products may help to modify the safety of their environment. Slip socks offer traction for indoor use, while a mat with foot scrubber is designed for wet areas and cleaning the feet. Support for hand use in the bathing and toilet areas may be provided by a grab bar. A walking aid is a good choice for balance during movement.

Before purchasing a walking aid, measure its height, and after purchase, help your parent to assess the product safety by using it. Grab bars and advanced mobility aids require professional installation. Safety products modify the environment as a first approach. Safety products should not be used as a replacement for a mobility assessment after a fall or a replacement for professional advice.

Build a Health Monitoring Routine

Creating a monitoring routine helps simplify remote care for your loved one. Consult with your loved one's doctor and determine what readings require tracking. These may differ based on the health needs of your loved one, but can include blood pressure, blood glucose, weight, temperature, and oxygen levels.

Keep a log (digital or physical) of:

• Date and time
• Reading
• Symptoms
• Clinically recommended changes to medicine
• Questions for the doctor at the next visit

Many AGEasy monitoring solutions, like an Arm BP Monitor or CGM Sensor, can be instituted during a doctor-guided routine. These devices should not be used to adjust the treatment independently.

It is important to determine what response is warranted after abnormal readings. It may be that your loved one calls a nearby family member while you contact the doctor. Also make sure to have emergency numbers handy and within reach. Do not rely solely on a family member who lives far away or on a mobile app during an emergency.

Plan Medicines and Appointments

There are many causes for the failure to take medication including disrupted routines, altered or diminished memory and changing eyesight. Use a prescription pill organizer that is clearly labeled if a clinician or pharmacist recommends it. Also, keep medicines away from moisture, heat, and children. Make a list that includes:

• Name of medicine
• Dose
• Time
• Why it is taken
• Prescribing doctor
• When it was filled
• Where it was filled

Ask the pharmacy if they have a delivery service. Set reminders on your loved one's phone and yours. A nearby person must verify and review the supply before it goes empty.

Arrange appointments, transport, reports, prescriptions, and payment details ahead of time. Ask your parent if they prefer you to join by phone call or video conference. Send your questions to the doctor in advance.

Meals, Hygiene, and Comfort

A change in cooking routine may affect food routines. Order groceries or use a tiffin or meal service. Keep easy to make food. Call twice a day to check on chewing, swallowing, appetite and hydration.

Hygiene support should maintain the dignity of the parent with bladder leakage or limited mobility. Consider adult diaper pants or under pads to provide daily comfort and make care easier to a bed or chair. Choose the correct size and clean and dry the skin by changing the product frequently. Pain, redness, open sores, fever, and sudden confusion are a medical concern.

A comfortable chair, working footwear, proper bedding, and water nearby support daily routines. Comfort needs may change after an illness, surgery, or a change in mobility.

Emotional Presence

Concern on the parent's well-being should go beyond an update on the parent's health. Hearing you and expressing feelings may help alleviate loneliness and anxiety. Create Rakhi-associated routines:

• Send family video message
• Organize a meal over video call
• Have a grandchild read a letter aloud
• Send photos of daily life
• Call once a week for storytelling and reminiscing
• Plan to visit locally after the festival
• Keep a shared calendar for appointments

See what type of contact your parents are comfortable with. Some prefer numerous short calls of the day, some prefer a couple longer calls of the week. Adhere to their routine.

Review the Plan Every Month

Care needs will always be in a state of change. Review the plan after a fall, hospital stay, new diagnosis, change in medicine, or change in memory, mood, appetite, or walking pattern. Once a month ask:

• Is the local support reliable?
• Are medications being taken?
• Are the appointments being kept?
• Do new safety changes around the home need to be made?
• Does your parent need to be supported more?
• What changes do you think need to be made?
• How are the care needs currently?

Changes are needed; say what needs to be said. Remind your parents that you still care.

This article is for informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for diagnosis or treatment from a licensed health care professional. Please seek health care advice from a licensed health care professional regarding medicines, medical equipment, serious symptoms or wounds requiring treatment, or any change in health or wellbeing. AGEasy products are intended to provide assistance to self-care. These products are gift ideas for those needing support to remain independent and should not be viewed as substitutes for health care.